Lets Get Up to Speed

So, I’m going to try to pick up where I left off before the chaos, and give a few life updates. We've created a pretty good daily routine, I'm fully adjusted to being back at work, summer is just about over, and we’re moving right along.

April 2025

1. April: My second nephew arrived!! And he is perfect. We went down to visit and I got to love on him A LOT. Our babysitter was a huge blessing to us during April as well. She came to our house to watch little man, do household chores while I couldn’t, and helped me to move around/stretch as a form of physical therapy. We had numerous conversations about faith, God, and I even had a few crying sessions with her. Truly, I am so grateful for her kindness. At the end of April, my employer asked if I could be released to work remotely. I asked my doctor, and he said that would be fine, but not to overdo anything.
2. May: Emery wrapped up her freshman year! I cannot believe it. I mean, I can, but also, it makes me sad. She passed all of her end-of-year exams. Now we’re looking into dual credit for next year as well as a real estate program. She was also confirmed in the Catholic church. And was recognized at the Athletic Banquet before school was let out for the summer. I returned to work in person on May 19. We slowly got back into a routine. Baby boy was still waking up frequently, BUT for shorter periods. Most nights anyway.
3. June: We made the first “long trip” with our baby boy. It was just over 3 hours, and he did really well! Much better than he had on any previous (shorter) trips. So, it’s safe to say that he was getting used to his car seat. Then, Emery, little man, and I spent a weekend with my brother and his family for their anniversary. I got to love on so many kiddos at once!  It was wonderful, and I say this with ALL of the love in my heart, "They are rockstars for having three kids." LOL! It is such a handful to have a lot of littles. At the end of the day, I was in awe of how they do it. But I quickly realized that I would not be able to handle it full-time myself. Any little bit of "Well, maybe I'm not done with having kids yet," ideas that I had left in me went right out the window. Two for me is good. Then, a few days after that trip, we went up to Denton for my brother-in-law’s wedding!
4. July: Our babysitter went out of town on vacation, so we had to find alternative care. Thankfully, the daycare our son would later be attending full-time allowed us to bring him in as a drop-in for the week. I was so grateful for that, BUT it was a rough one. There were a lot of tears - from both him and me. And there were days when I wished I could quit my job and stay at home with him until he was off at kindergarten. Unfortunately, that’s not a possibility. So, I just prayed my way through each day. When our babysitter returned from her travels, we were so excited! The first day back, little man was so happy. He reached for her and hugged her the minute he was in her arms. All smiles and no tears. Unfortunately, that was short-lived. She had gotten hurt while traveling, and while she tried her best, her doctor informed her that she was not allowed to lift anything and would be going through PT. So, I had to scramble to find another sitter after that week. And y’all…that is so scary. Vetting individuals, doing home visits, and praying that you’re entrusting your child to a good person…it’s a lot. Thankfully, the person we found was amazing, and our little man took to her very easily.
5. Present: We’ve done the majority of our back-to-school shopping. We’ve attended the athletics meetings. And soon we will have meet-the-teacher meeting night. Emery’s schedule is going to be packed, but she says she’s ready. And honestly, I think we are, too. Our little dude officially started daycare this month, and as expected, he’s struggled. I’ve struggled and questioned my career, over and over. I’ve even started a Program Management course in hopes that I can look into jobs that would allow me to work from home. All around, it’s been rough. I’m praying that things smooth out as the weeks go by, though.

During all of this, Corey has been making incredible strides in his new job! He’s dedicating himself to learning new skills and striving to be the best worker. It's been inspiring to see him dive headfirst into a career field he previously knew nothing about and thrive in it. His hard work is paying off, too. He's now on a fast track to working solo, much sooner than we anticipated. We're hoping that once he's officially out of his shadowing/apprenticeship phase, he'll receive a well-deserved pay increase.

And finally, I had my yearly evaluation back in June and received a high rating. I acknowledged that I wasn’t able to do as much as I had the previous year due to being out on medical leave. Twice. However, both of my bosses stated that they knew it was out of my control, AND despite my absence, they felt I achieved a lot. They said I added a lot of value to the team, and one even mentioned that it was very much felt when I was gone. He said something along the lines of, “There was so much disorganization while you were out. Times when I was unproductive because I couldn’t count on someone else to get things done the way I can when you’re here, so I had to take it on myself.” He’s also the one who encouraged me to request a “Compensation Equity Pay Study” from HR. And can you guess what the findings were? I was way underpaid. So, it was recommended that I be brought up to the same level as my peers.

Now, it seems like the year is flying. While some months dragged, others were gone in the blink of an eye. Emery and I are still working through our PTSD. People can usually tell when we start to get anxiety on longer drives. Especially in larger cities, and as the sun is going down. Emery has also stopped asking if she can drive places. This has really bummed me out because she used to be so excited. On the rare occasion that she does ask to drive down our road, I try to encourage her to go a bit further, but she usually shuts that down. And since we have plenty of time before she is set to take her test, I’m not pushing it. We’ll get through it eventually. Anyway, that about catches us up. Here’s to a wonderful start to the school year. To some easy days. And to some peace.

Wordless Wednesday

4.3.25: 1 Day post-op, my hair was a mess, & peep the glued glasses

A Sunday Evening We Won't Forget // Part II

So many things happened all at once. First, I heard the crunch of metal, and then it sounded like a bomb had gone off. I went forward a bit before the seatbelt tightened. I felt something in my right shoulder area break. Then I felt pain in my legs. There was smoke, the console was black, there was a siren sound, and all of the interior lights turned on.  I couldn't see much of anything else - my glasses had flown off. Emery was panicking, and I reached over to her, "Are you okay?! Are you okay?!" She confirmed that physically, she felt okay. I tried to calm her down and told her to stay put until help arrived. "We're okay. We're going to be okay. It's okay. It's okay." I kept repeating that out loud as if I were trying to reassure myself just as much as her. There was so much going through my mind. She responded with, "This is not okay. I can't believe that just happened. This is not okay." And that's when we heard the voices outside the vehicle. 

I heard someone start pulling on the driver's side door, and then asking if Emery was okay. He had a very calming voice and asked her questions to help her focus and perform a body check. She stated she was okay and asked him to help me out of the vehicle. He assured her they would help me, and then I could hear him asking someone else to escort Emery off to the side grassy area. That's about the time that the police, fire department, and ambulance arrived. I heard another voice on my side, and then the door was being pulled open. I could see the flashing red and blue lights. But I let them know that everything was blurry to me because my glasses were off. I couldn't find my shoes either. They asked me the same questions that they asked my daughter. And I let them know that I was hurt. They helped me get my shoes on and out of the vehicle. Two people helped me walk over to the side where Emery was sitting.  

The rest happened so fast. We kept being asked what had happened and what we remembered. All of those who responded to the accident needed to hear our side of what happened. Someone told us that the other driver tried leaving the scene and that he smelled of alcohol. Another person said beer bottles had fallen out of the other driver's vehicle when he opened his door to get out. Several witnesses were there with us and they kept telling us and the police officers that the accident was not our fault. "Your light was green, and he just turned into your lane - hitting you head-on." There was yelling, and I could feel a lot of pain in my body. Emery expressed how thankful she was that we didn't have her little brother with us. She verbalized what I had been thinking. A police officer was able to find Emery's phone, and I told her to call Corey. We let him know what happened, and he said he had gotten an alert on his phone. He would be there as soon as he could. Again, we were asked what happened. I refused to be transported by ambulance, "My husband is on his way, the hospital is close, he can take me." I had to sign paperwork for that. Oddly, even in that pain, I was worried about the medical bills. 

When Corey arrived, he was able to help me up and into the truck. He asked if they could look for my phone and my glasses. Thankfully, they were able to find both. My glasses were broken, but I was still able to put them up to my face to take a look around. And y'all, when I saw our vehicle...I was so thankful to God that we weren't more seriously hurt, and that we were both still here. Pretty banged up, but alive.  

Our vehicle is on the left

I was still in a bit of shock, and I felt cold. I called my mom and dad to tell them what happened. She said they would meet us at the hospital. I asked Corey about our son, and he said he was being cared for by his uncle and aunt. Then Corey drove us to the hospital, and that whole process was less than ideal. However, it was confirmed that I had broken my collarbone. A police officer came in and asked for more of our information. She also wanted our permission to receive our medical information from that night, as she wanted to arrest the other driver. The only thing I can say is that he was drunk, confirmed by several police officers, a firefighter, and two nurses. So I agreed. There were a lot of emotions as I sat there. Anger, guilt, fear, and thankfulness. But I reassured Emery that this was not her fault. And she didn't do anything differently than what I would have done. 

I won't dive into the rest of the details, because we'd be here forever. But after a few hours, I was released in a sling with instructions to contact an orthopedic surgeon. We did the following day. I had surgery two days later, and then the recovery process began. It has been a rocky road ever since. Recovery, both physically and emotionally, has been intense. I had to take a lot of time off from work, and I went several weeks without being able to hold my son. Several more before I was even able to pick him up. My daughter is still having to work through the trauma of what happened, and thankfully, we were able to have her start counselling almost immediately after the accident. Corey had to take time off from work, which set us back even more financially. I'm still trying to process my feelings and work through the trauma. I'm also trying to find it in me to forgive the other driver. 

Then the bills started coming in. My vehicle had been totaled, which meant we had to purchase another one by the time I went back to work. And y'all, it has been rough. There have been weeks where we haven't known how bills would get paid or if we'd have enough money for all the groceries. To add to that, a week after my surgery, we were informed that the vehicle's owner had reported to his insurance company that the driver was not authorized to drive the vehicle. So, their insurance informed our lawyer that they were not responsible for damages. And my health insurance has filed a lien because I sustained injuries in a car accident - that means they don't believe they should have had to pay for my medical visits/surgery. How awesome is that? Please read that with a heavy dose of sarcasm. 

So yeah, that's life lately. It's been a bit of a doozy. We still don't know how we're going to get by on most days. But so far, God's provided enough for us to squeak by on bills, food, and the necessities. Right now, so much is out of our control, and I can't give a lot of mental energy to all of the negative. I tell myself that I need to trust our lawyer to figure out the best solution for us. And every time I start to feel overwhelmed by it all, I just think about how grateful I am to be here. How grateful I am that my daughter is here. How thankful I am that my husband and son were not with us that evening. I thank God for another day, and just do my best to move forward.